You ever have that thing where you’re telling someone a story about an awesome BBQ place you just went to, and you go into exquisite details on the sauce, the smoky flavor of the ribs, the bacon infused baked beans, and the juiciness of the pulled pork; and they just let you gush on and on about this place you are so hyped about, only to tell you at the end of it all, “actually I’m a vegetarian, I can’t go there”?
Why the fuck do these people let me carry on for what feels like hours, only to shit all over the point moments later? The only reason I’m telling this person about this place is so I can get the word out on good BBQ and it will stay in business so that I can keep eating there.
My point here guys is this: just as I want people getting good into BBQ, I want people digging good music. I write about music here so I can get the word out on GOOD MUSIC. You readers don’t have the time or the energy to waste precious moments of your life reading about bad music. If I started writing about bad music it would be both insulting to you and me. It’s a waste of time. A fucking zero. This is why I have a bone to pick with SPIN.
SPIN’s online site has an ongoing article series titled, Worst New Music. They have what appears to be a staff of writers dedicating their time to writing pieces about stuff that they have deemed isn’t any good. This is a waste of bandwidth and time. If you don’t like an album, a lot of that has to do with your taste in music. When I don’t like something, I’m not going to waste a sentence let alone 5 paragraphs about why I don’t like it. Generally I leave my commentary on music I don’t like to, “it wasn’t for me”. I wish major magazines did the same. Hey SPIN, if you don’t like a band, ignore them. Don’t put up their photo and name on a heavily trafficked site. That gets their name out there. What does that achieve?
I bring this up because this week at the top of this section I found a band called Merchandise. Not only is Merchandise not the “worst new music” but they are actually quite good if their sound is your thing. Merchandise is weird, they’re trying something new, and at times they are really damn fun. Here’s a fuck you to the concept of having a WORST NEW MUSIC column. This week’s ARTIST OF THE WEEK: MERCHANDISE.
Merchandise is comprised of Carson Cox and Dave Vassalotti have been a DIY band for the past five years. They got their start together in high School playing in various hardcore and punk bands holding shows mostly in storage units on the outskirts of town. The punk/ hardcore sound slowly began to fall by the wayside as the band began experimenting with a more 80’s post punk/ proto rock after they began listening to more experimental artists like Jandek and Can.
This altered their initial thrash sound into what it has now become, a Smith’s-esque throw back that can get a crowd moving. Their latest EP Totale Nite really captures that English heartbreak rock era that I once loathed but have now embraced in my softie old age. Cox’s voice even carries that Morrissey accent. It’s kooky. Anxiety’s Door, the single off the record is really a fun track that if played early, will start your off morning right. I jammed to it on my drive in to work and I’ll be damned if it didn’t put me in a great mood.
I hear this song and I can picture my friend Mike rocking out to it a Karaoke night in the near future. He’ll go a little too hard, and the other bar patrons will get uncomfortable. I can’t wait.
The second track Who Are You? continues with the good vibes. It’s a heavily layered mix, lots of instruments going on, putting the listener into a certain haze. This song would fit perfectly in any movie where some guy takes his first hit ever, or has one drink too many, and the party starts to take a turn.
Prior to this most recent release, the band had been pumping out EPs and LPs through their website like it was no one’s business. All of which are still available for free download here
http://merchandisetheband.
I started with their debut and just powered through them all. It’s interesting when a relatively small band has a bevy of material to sift through. Since they were so young when they started, you can really hear them changing things up as they themselves figure out exactly what they want to be.
Their first release Merchandise is miles away from Totale Nite. The record feels like you’re listening to a conversation between 
two people suffering from dementia. You really have no idea where things started, where they are going, and what the hell to make of it when it’s over. Songs come out of the gate sounding like ambient experimental rock and then divulge into an endless punk thrash. It’s weird. Their 7’ Es Muerte which came out a few years later shows this same confusion, they lost the experimental elements entirely and went full bore into noise rock. A poor man’s Sonic Youth of sorts.
By the time they released their first LP in 2012 titled Children of Desire, they had mellowed greatly. The drawn out feedback tones had been replaced by the melodic tinkling of a cheap keyboard. The screams had moved aside for reverberated lullabies. On the track Time they really find their sweet spot as they mix in elements of The Cure, The Smiths, and The Pet Shop boys. The video is really something else.
And before you guys go all high and mighty on me for mentioning the Pet Shop Boys in a positive light, let’s all slow down and revisit their song It’s A Sin. It’s crazy danceable and super creepy at the same time. They aren’t making music like this any more. I like this song completely un-ironically. Pass judgment if you still feel it necessary.
SPIN has them as the worst but thems strong words. Words I don’t agree with. There’s something here. They have a cool sound that no one else is trying and they are putting new stuff out CONSISTENTLY. Check them out. At the very least you’ll get a few new dancing jams for your 80’s themed parties. Get into it guys.
Big Hugs,
Kelly
http://merchandisetheband.
